On Riding a Bird

I was recently given a great gift, any sort of text describing its greatness would be sorely lacking... It was a biggie... But, I have some things to say, this isn't me trying to look a gift horse in the mouth, but, here goes... First, unlike a good, natural horse, birds are like, shy about the fact that people ride them.

No, really shy...

Also, riding a bird is hard on the ass... First, they have this gait that is just so different, a horse has a steady back, parallel with the terrain. Birds bounce.

This action basically compresses each of your vertebrae into an individual pancake.... And don't even get me started on hills...

Unlike good, natural Azerothean mounts, that have two speeds, on, and off, birds go faster down hills... That, with the bounce, and the fact that they hate being ridden, makes any ride down any incline a decent into madness. Birds like high places... but not because they miss being able to fly eons ago... No, Birds are crazy, when they see something they want below, they jump off high places!

I'm still on that bird! I don't know if I'm riding this thing, or it's riding me.... And look, they are carnivores!

It eviscerated this poor bear in one strike! And unlike good carnivores, its not interested in killing for food, its just seems to like killing...

I'm afraid to dismount! I think this bird is going to kill me as soon as I get off.... HALP!